Be a Better Host, Be an Even Better House-guest
The hustle + bustle of the holidays are over! Praaaaise Him!!! Your house-guests have either vacated your premises or you're just this much closer to telling them, with a smile of course, "you ain't gotta go home, but you gotta get the bleep up outta here!!" Oh, the holidays, they bring out the best in us, huh? Well, there's never really a follow-up survey, comment card, or "circle back" for hosts or house-guests after the visit. So, I'm going to share a little advice for some situations that you may encounter when hosting or visiting that will leave you equipped to not only be a better host, but a better house-guest as well.
Your guest shows up with a bottle of wine to your dinner party, do you: A. serve it with dinner or B. save it for later? Most would probably say A uncork + pour that bad boy, right? But, you don't necessarily have to. The vino can be a "gift" to enjoy later. Since you're the host + you planned the meal + presumably the wine pairings, your guest should not be offended if you stash away their Cabernet Sauvignon. Even if the bottle arrives chilled, don't feel pressured to serve it with the meal, do, however thank your guest. Cheers!
Your house-guest shows up, unexpectedly, with their cat or dog. What do you do? Well, this all depends on whether you're allergic to animals or just damn "allergic" to the inconvenience of having the addition of a furball to your home. If in fact you're allergic you can ask your guest to take Fifi to a kennel, + that's a justified request, buuuut if you're not throwing legit coughing + sneezing fits well then you better just suck it up + accommodate the furry guest, because I'm 99.9999% sure your guest considers Fluffy a part of her family + hadn't planned on parting ways with her during her stay. It is OK to request that the furry family friend is sequestered in a penned-in area of your home, ensuring that he/she doesn't get in the daily hustle + bustle, especially if the dear old dog isn't completely potty-trained *oops*.
Your host is an early bird + serves breakfast at the crack of dawn. As a house-guest you: A. suck it up + wake up, or B. sleep in + miss breakfast? Sorry, y'all the answer here is definitely A. Don't be rude! In as much as I'm sure you'd like to stay all snugged up under the duvet while your host is whipping up a breakfast spread fit for a king, you need to follow her timetable. Greet her with a smile, ready to eat pancakes, she's probably serving mimosas too, so it'll be worth your while, right? And don't even think about showing up in your jammys, put a robe on or your clothes. Mmm hmm... you're welcome.
You're an overnight guest at a friend's. At the end of your stay, you: A. make the bed, B. strip the bed, or C. (don't even make me slap you) leave the bed unmade? Traditionally you would B, strip the sheets + leave them loosely folded at the foot of the bed. You can simply ask your host what their preference is + just follow through. If you picked C, please bring your face over here... closer... cloooser!
Your house-guests explain that they would like to do some day trips while visiting, but they didn't rent a car. Do you: A. chauffeur them around, or B. throw up a peace sign + tell them to have a blast? Most of you might have answered A. Although you might feel compelled to be their on-demand Uber driver for the day you aren't required to do so. You can drive them to a few places, + then nicely let your guests know that their other trips are up to them. You might want to consider presenting guests with a welcome basket upon their arrival that includes transportation and transit info, like a mini hotel information booklet (that includes the wi-fi passcode). Speaking of Uber, you can even include a little "how-to" for using the app.
You bring a dish to a potluck dinner party. You: A. leave the leftovers for your host, or B. ask to take the leftovers home with you? 5... 4... 3... 2...1... A! We both said A at the same time, right? I hope we did! Always, always, always leave the leftovers + consider leaving the serving dish, too. Transport your potluck delight in a cheap dish that you don't necessarily want returned or go high-end + gift the dish to the host, it's up to you. Otherwise, you can label the bottom of the dish with your contact info, then follow-up with the retrieval the week after.
This next one is a good one. Your house-guests have been taking really long showers + using up all the hot water (how rude!). Do you tell them to A. hurry things up or B. suck it up + say nothing at all? This is kind of a tricky one + depends on who your house-guests are + how long they'll be there. If your guests actions are, however inconveniencing all parties in the household then it's perfectly acceptable to say something, just be sure to do so with a little tact. If done properly they should get the drift, but if you truly don't feel comfortable addressing it then simply do not bother.
You write a Thank You note to your host after your visit. In what form does it come: A. a text, B. a handwritten note, or C. an e-mail? Any thank-you is surely appreciated, the way in which it is received is also part of the message. A text message may be quicker + more immediate, but a handwritten note will hold more weight to your gratitude. So, yes you can A. shoot a quick text right after the visit, but be sure to follow it up with a handwritten note within three days, especially if you were the one using up all the hot water! Just sayin'!
Last one guys! So you've been hosting house-guests for a week, + you all go out to dinner on the last night of their stay. You: A. pick up the tab, B. split the check, or C. expect the guest to pay? Sidebar just for a minute guys... I used to be a server at a restaurant that shall remain nameless (brings back interesting memories), + one of the things that would annoy me was dealing with parties where EVERYONE is wanting to take care of the tab... reaching for it, slapping my hand, giving me the "don't you dare" eyes, even. This is a nice gesture + all, but I remember thinking, "if everyone is sooooo eager to pay the damn bill then how about I delegate who pays the tab, + you ALL can tip me the amount of the bill, + we can just call it even!" Of course that never worked. So, while this type of silly confusion is really better settled when the reservation is made rather than when the bill arrives, don't expect your guests to pay the tab. While the answer is A, thoughtful guests will treat their host to dinner at least one night during their stay, maybe pick up a grocery tab at Trader Joe's + even offer to cook at some point during their stay.
All in all the take-home here is consideration. The old school saying "treat others as you would like to be treated" works here, too. So how well did you know your host + house-guest P's and Q's? I'd like to knooow! Are there other host and house-guest etiquette sticky situations that you have run into? How did you address them? Hopefully with much finesse + panache!
Til next time!
